Home of the Four Trans

I went to work today. Yes, work. For eight hours, 3pm-11pm.

It’s been a year since the last time I actually worked, and it felt a little…liberating.

It’s been a year, but I still got it. Aside from some things slipping from my mind, my organizational skills when coming to running a (200 people) wedding reception is awesome. I had forgotten how good I was at timing things and getting things done on par or beyond the bride and groom’s expectations. Of course there was a team of servers, kitchen staff, cooks, etc., etc. But, it still amazes me how I can handle so many people and not feel overwhelmed. And, I handle what others may perceive as stress pretty well. Tooting my own horn, that’s for sure!

I suppose this life at home with my children does make me question how I’d relate to the “real world” if I ever were to re-enter it. I question whether I’d forget my skills and quick mindedness. I wondered if I’d ever forget who is me as the role of Mommy in Little Boys Kingdom has quite defined me.

But, when the bride and groom hugged me at the end of the night, thanking me for “everything,” I knew I had done my job well, and that I am still very capable. Every aspect of the itinerary was followed flawlessly, from lining up the bridal party for the grand entrance to the timing of the bouquet toss. Yes, I am goooood.

When Loi asked me if I “missed it,” though, I had to pause a moment to gather my thoughts. If by ‘it’ he meant working as a wedding coordinator, yes. If by ‘it’ he meant being at work for long hours six days a week and never seeing my children? No way!

At the end of the day, my children come first and my personal fulfillment comes last. I wouldn’t say I’m completely selfless, however, because being with my children actually creates great personal fulfillment.

Nonetheless, I am still me, a girl who loves to sing, write, dance, daydream, read, talk too much, learn, and work. So, yes, I do miss work sometimes as it allows me to fulfill an aspect of me.

Do I want to give up my time with my little Bubba and Googleybear? Uhhhhh…………how about in small doses? Let’s start there.

I am definitely feeling the anxiety(of losing my children or of them getting sick if I’m not there)burn away a little and gaining the confidence to conquer the world, again. Really. Because of them, I feel like I can do anything.

Now, I must tend to my poor feet that withstood 8 hours worth of nonstop walking and standing in 3 inch heels. What was I thinking? Too eager to “dress up” again, I suppose.