Home of the Four Trans

The weather forecast called for clouds and rain. When I looked out the window this morning, it was bright and sunny. Perfect day for wearing a dress, I thought. I love dresses because it makes me feel put together even when I’m not. It says, hmmm, cute. Not, oh, she’s a frazzled mom who needs a shower.

I had spent the morning preparing these yummy Rachel Ray inspired chicken sausage patties to be eaten with rice or hawaiian rolls. I washed the remainder of the dishes from 2 days ago, loaded it into the dishwasher. I made Justin a banana smoothie for breakfast that he ate (yes!).

Physical therapy was canceled, again, today because Justin’s PT was just recovering from a respiratory thing. We erred on the safe side, and decided to reschedule for next week. So, our morning was more free than usual.

We did the OT thing, though. He had just been re-evaluated as required by California Children’s Services (CCS) to see where he is developmentally, whether he’s reached his goals, and what new goals are to be made for him. It seems he has sensory loss in his right hand/arm (result of stroke), which makes it difficult for him to realize to use it–he cannot feel that he has that part of his body there. He cannot flex his wrist upward, or turn his arm into supine position. He does have some control of his shoulder and elbow which enables him to voluntarily bring his arms up and down, and side to side. With those motor functions, he can help dress/undress himself, knock over blocks, spin a big wheel. He can also bear weight through his shoulders while on his belly, on all fours (assisted), and side sitting. Being able to bear weight through his shoulders also enables him to combat crawl forward and sideways (although, he still prefers to roll).

Here are some other things Justin can do:

Stand unassisted for a good 1 minute. The blue thing on his hand is a splint to help keep his hand open from a tight fisted position.

Enjoy a bottle with his brother (unassisted, but only sometimes). He’s learned to compensate.

We’ve had him for a year post bi-directional Glenn. Now, the Fontan (the third of the palliative surgeries) are in the forefront of our minds. Thoughts of how another open heart surgery will affect him are prominent and persistent. I wonder, “What if he has another —?” Then, all our hard work in the past year will mean nothing?

As unhealthy as it may seem, I will not stop thinking these thoughts. With these thoughts come questions that I hope will help me find some answers.

When I think and plan for the worse, it also helps me appreciate the here and now. Justin is here, and he smiles, and he knows his Mama. He loves his Mama, in fact. He fights with his brother for toys. He grunts when he doesn’t get his way. He whines when he wants to be carried. He follows instructions, mimics, and is always the life of the party.

Yes, I push my child in his therapy exercises and massages, everyday. And, heck, it can get exhausting when all I want to do is play with him, and let him play in peace. In the middle of it all, though, we cuddle and laugh, and let go of the heavy burdens he’s been born with in this life.

Like today, we had a ho hum day of nothingness.

When I was skeptical of the rain, I had made plans to take the boys to Woodbridge Lake, closeby Nathan’s school, for a delightful lunch with the ducks, swans, and midges. I had even packed some soon-to-be expired hot dog buns.

By the time we had gotten out of the school doors, the sunshine had gone away, and clouds had started to blanket the sky in a soft grey.

We headed to my mom’s house (Ba, to the kids), instead, to hang out. My sister was home. We watched a bit of “10 Years Younger” on TLC and each took a shot at how old the lady was before they started her transformation.

Nathan played with a broken eucalayle from his room (my old room). Justin watched his brother in awe. They slept. We ate. Just one of those ho hum days.

In the evening, I headed out to Nathan’s school for a Parent’s Education Night about Mathematics in the Montessori program. Very impressive. It was a 1 hour instruction on how toddlers and primary schoolers learn the foundation of algebra (addition, subtraction, mulitplication, division), and the idea of carrying and exchange using the Montessori tools. Nathan is definitely staying in this program.

I also asked the academic director about Justin, and when she felt it was appropriate for him to start the Montessori program, given his delayed development. She said she’d at least like for him to have his gross motor skills so that he would be upright and walking. This is for his own safety as the other toddlers will be wearing shoes and bringing in a lot of germs on the ground. Always good to know.

Hope you all are doing well. Thank you for checking in.

Life in the Tran household has been quite hectic since the holiday season began back in November. Now, with the celebration of the Chinese New Year behind us (January 25, 2009), we can rest easy knowing that the holiday season is officially over…and finally, get back into some sort of routine…and, some blogging.

I know all that are still checking in are wondering how my boys are doing. The update of how they spent their holiday will come in the form of pictures.

I’ve also been postponing posting updates because I just wanted to enjoy what we had with the boys while we had it. This may be an irrational fear that has arisen from my undiagnosed post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD–after enduring and witnessing all that I have with Justin and his surgeries), but I am afraid to speak of any good in fear of something bad happening. So, I just let it be.

Justin had his neurology and orthopedic appointments since the last time I posted. There’s nothing new to report there: his right foot is still in pronation, and his right hand and arm still need much therapy to improve. He is continuing his occupational and physical therapy 3 times a week. Starting this week, he is also receiving infant stim from the Regional Center of Orange County to learn some cognitive and social skills. It’s been a year since he’s had the stroke, and at times, I do feel discouraged that he has not made as much improvement as we had hoped. But, although subtle, the progress is there.

Justin also celebrated several anniversaries in January: January 9 is the anniversary of the day his heart unexpectedly stopped in the hospital, one day post heart catheterization. January 16 is the anniversary of his second heart surgery, the bi-directional Glenn. On both of these days, we did mini parties for him, and he loved the attention.

Nathan continues to challenge me, Loi, and our patience to the max. Sometimes we’ll get to experience some of his cute little boy innocence when he asks us questions about the world around him. Most of the time, though, there’s a lot of resistance on his part in doing what is expected of him. I’m beginning to see how he is more like his father each and every day…resisting authority!! You know it’s true, Hon.

There have been days (like last week) where Nathan has driven me to the brink of insanity. I mean insanity. Wouldn’t go to school even if we dragged him, refused to get in and out of the car (made me sit in the parking lot for 45 minutes with Justin in my lap because he wanted to sit in Justin’s car seat), and refused to speak when asked to greet people.

On days like those, I wonder what the heck I’m doing wrong. I was even driven to start drinking…well, almost. It had been 5 years since I’ve actually drank alcohol. The days of downing tequila shots with licks of lime and salt off the back of my hand were over since I decided on a random day back in 2003 that I didn’t want to kill any of my brain cells that way.

Well, I really needed a quick relaxant on this particular day. Of course, being the responsible parent that I am, I told Loi my plans first, and waited for him to get home before opening a 2006 bottle of merlot (rich in flavonoids, good for the cardiovascular system. See? I’m responsible). I poured it into a tall water glass, swished it a few times, and took a pecker sip. Um, yuck. It was alcohol, and I do not like the taste of alcohol. I tried to convince that I needed this, but I couldn’t get past the taste. I really wished I could have. But, after the 5th sip, I gave up.

Loi laughed as I poured myself that glass of wine because it was so entirely not me to drown my sorrows in something like alcohol.

I still haven’t figured out how to find any “me” time, yet. There are things I would love to do like hit the gym and lift some weights (total endorphin inducer), write, go on a weekend getaway sans kids, read, dance…but, by the time the kids are in bed, I am exhausted. All I want to do is something mindless like watching a show on Hulu.

My energy level is not what is was 6 months ago…I’m losing my stamina…could it be because I have a little more than a year before turning 30?!?!?

Okay, enough about me. Truth is, I just need to find my center.

Moving on…

Loi is busy as usual working 6-7 days a week with his “day job,” and our little side business. But, he always tries his best to alleviate my stresses. He’ll cook dinner when I just want to throw myself under the covers like the day never happened, he’ll prepare the children’s lunches, he’ll help clean, and he approved of me going to New York on my own for my birthday. Yay!

Yes, I can be the most terrible mother and wife, and almost undeserving. But, I know how truly blessed I am to be surrounded by the most wonderful people.

Thanks for checking in. Happy New Year!

This is the second day in months that I’ve had both my kids home with me with nothing major on our agenda to do. Nathan and Justin are both on winter break from school and therapy, respectively. Both are relatively healthy enough to have some uninterrupted play with each other on the ground…with their cars. They had a full day together yesterday with some bickering about whose car is whose. Don’t let Justin’s sweet face fool you–he can be quite feisty. You’ll see him scrunch his face up, and grind his teeth like he’s determined to get what he wants to get from big brother, and nothing’s gonna stop him. He’ll keep rolling, combat crawling, and reaching with his good left arm toward the object he’d like to own, even as his brother tries to move the objects as far away as possible from him. There is a breaking point for Nathan, though, a time when he no longer feels it’s fair that he must defend his toys. This is when things start getting physical. Sometimes, Nathan will hold his hand out against Justin’s forehead so that he could come no closer. Other times, Nathan will use his whole body as a human road block so that Justin would not get past towards the toys. But, Justin does not allow this to deter him from his goal. He’s learned to crawl over and around his brother’s blockages–he’s learned to create detours, if you will. When all else fails, though, Justin will cry in hopes of me coming to the rescue. How I deal with it depends on the source of the problem. Did Nathan take away one of Justin’s toys? Or, is Justin just being a little tyrant? But, this is besides the point of this story.

So, they fight and bicker as little brothers do. But, today, I witnessed the sweetest thing I never expected my firstborn to do. He fed his little brother. They were sitting side by side in their double stroller en route to the local Pavilions for our weekly groceries. Nathan had packed himself a canister of Gerber’s Cheese Puffs. As he pulled one of those puffed crackers out, Justin started whining for some. While pushing the stroller, I asked Nathan if he could share one with Justin. Because Justin was bundled up in layers, he was a little stiff and could not move his left arm over to reach for the cracker. So, Nathan started feeding him.

“Look, Mommy,” Nathan says. “Justin is a bird!”

Of course, I stopped to look and found that Nathan was right. Justin was like a baby bird receiving a worm from his mother’s beak. So cute!

On the way home from the market, Justin started fussing for some milk. Realizing how successful his attempt was the first time, Nathan tried to hush Justin by popping another cracker into his mouth.

“Look, Mommy,” Nathan says. “Justin is a snowman!”

To this, I had a little chuckle. Nathan was right. The cracker was sticking out of Justin’s mouth like the carrot of a snowman’s nose. Again, so cute!

Moments like this remind me of how blessed I am to be allowed my time with my children. I am allowed to witness how they grow and interact and interpret the world.

Nathan is beginning to assume the role of big brother, now. He wants to be a “big boy”, and is showing us that he is capable of this responsiblity. I am so very proud of him.

The days have been full with my boys and I bounding from one event to the next, quick in our step, sure in ways.

Nathan, after three months in school, has grown into his own. He is much more confident, now. In fact, he has joined “circle time,” a social activity, with the rest of his classmates. He’s also transitioned to a full day program which lasts until 3pm. Every day, when I pick him up from school, he greets me with some sort of project in his hand, one that he had made especially for me. Usually, it is some sort of creative art project or botany book he’s made. He speaks of his classmates, and his friends issues (and, so it begins), and tells me how much he likes school.

Justin, after 8 months of therapy, is beginning to show major progress in his right arm and hand. He now knows how to knock over blocks, spin a wheel toy, and roll a toy car with his right side. He’s also showing improvement in his gross motor skills as he combat crawls (in his own left-dominant way), and stands and takes steps more often (although his right ankle is still pronating, which makes it difficult for him to stand upright very well on his own). He’s also emulating sounds that we make like when we count. Most of the time, he’s just babbling in his own language. As for his physical health, he’s grown about 2.5 inches in the last month, after about 8 months of no growth.

For those who are kind enough to ask us about our little boys, and about Justin and his progress, I tell them they are doing fine. I recite the points of progress my boys have made. I tell them, “Yes, they’re good.”

Here I am, three days before Christmas Eve of 2008, having enjoyed many endeavors that seemed nearly impossible last year, and still, almost afraid to proclaim my joy in all that my family and I have been allowed this season. We’ve braved the malls together, studied the towering Christmas trees with their sparkling twinkle lights and ornaments. Justin and I shared a cheesecake. Nathan had his first movie theater experience with Loi. We’ve been to restaurants, weddings, and parties.

I feel selfish for not claiming how happy I am when others are struggling to put food on the table, and providing the necessities for their children this year; when others may not have their children with them, and I do.

I suppose this is one of the hazards of having a child with a health condition that places such uncertainty in our lives. Well, it is for me, anyway. It’s like I’m still afraid to rejoice in fear of something…happening. Hana kara, I think it is. So, I keep to myself, and get upset when Loi starts getting excited about anything.

Take it as it comes, one day at a time. Breathe in, breathe out. Just keep breathing…

And, I pray to remind myself to be thankful, and to maintain my belief in miracles (that do happen!).

Thank you for checking up on us. We wish you all a Merry Christmas, and may peace be with you.

Coming soon with pictures and stories. Love my Nathan, he’s getting big! He’s still into firetrucks, cars, and trains.

Here’s a quickie: Nathan found a tambourine somewhere on the ground, and quickly ran with it to find Loi.

N: Papa, where are the wipes?

L: Uh, let me see. Why do you need wipes?

N: Because I have to clean this for Pee Wee so he can play with it.

We have made it a habit to clean every single toy with an antibacterial wipe before allowing Justin to play with it. Nathan is learning as well. Really, though, how sweet and cute is this! He also sanitizes his hands before touching PeeWee (when he’s in a good mood), and gives strangers the evil eye if they crouch in to touch Justin. It may not seem like it, but Nathan is very protective of his brother.

Another quickie: While at the electrophysiologist’s office, Nathan noticed the nurse producing a pulse/ox, and a cuff from the little cart that carries the blood pressure machine. The moment he realized the nurse was putting the cuff on Justin, he looked at me and said in an uncertain tone, “Mommy?” The nurse and I quickly explained to him that she was not going to hurt Justin. I tried my best to tell him what was going on at each step of the way. He was much more relaxed for the rest of the appointment.

Nathan is really growing up.

Nathan crafted his artistic pumpkin at a friend’s birthday party. 

I’ve been MIA lately because Nathan’s been sick. He even missed out on his class Halloween celebration (that included him participating in a parade don in costume and everything! Boo hoo.) He caught some virus that caused his fever to go up to 103 degrees, stomach aches, and vomiting. According to his ped, it takes about 3-4 days after he’s contracted the virus for symptoms to show. First thing that came to my mind was JUSTIN!!! Of course, I was worried sick about Nathan, with him being so groggy and miserable and sedentary…so unlike his usual self. But, the thought of Justin having to go back into the hospital made me even sicker…intubation, IV’s, poking, prodding, and who knows what else…you know how it goes.

I hoped and I prayed.

Two days go by, and I thought we were in the clear. Justin had a little cold that he was getting over, but other than that, he was his usual happy self. Then, at 1AM Saturday, out of no where, Justin wakes up vomiting. Not once, but repeatedly. Loi and I were freaked out! I kept him upright, watched a little TV with him, fed him pedialyte and water. Two hours go by, he seemed to calm down with the gagging, and we put him to sleep. We contemplated going to the hospital, but used our best judgment, and decided not to. It was a weekend, in the wee hours of the morning, and while Justin was vomiting, he looked, and acted as usual. He did not seem to be under much distress. We tried to keep him hydrated the best we could until morning.

Justin was being watched and cared for from above.

We made it through Sunday with purely pedialyte, water, and some solids. By Monday, he was back to formula and his usual pureed diet.

Nathan took a little longer to recover. In fact, his temperature went up that Monday night to almost 104, and he continued to complain about his stomach pains. I was worried that it was some sort of bacterial infection. With some rest, and more fluids, by Wednesday he was back to his rambunctious self…you know, the one that causes tornado like destructions throughout the house?

Today, Nathan enjoyed a game of rolling his CARS and Bob the Builder vehicles through “mud”, aka, Playdoe. 

With all the sickness going around, though, they both had a little opportunity to celebrate halloween and went trick-or-treating.

Nathan pointing out where he’d like to go next as Justin hangs onto his Kit Kat and Crunch bar. The Kit Kat was the first candy he received and refused to let go of it. When I asked for it, he brought his hand behind his back with the intention of hiding it from Mama.

Justin as a football player because it was cold out and his dinosaur costume was a little dirty. I don’t think anyone knew what he was supposed to be, but gave him candy anyway because he is so darn cute!

Fireman Nathan enjoyed a few rounds of MarioKart at his Grandma’s house after trick or treating.

Justin at physical therapy dressed as a floppy eared cat with sequined ears…too cute, couldn’t resist!

Justin the Dinosaur. Enough said.

 Until next time, I hope you all enjoy the change in seasons! I certainly am loving the cool, crisp air of Autumn that is now upon us.

I helped make a dream come true for my little Nathan.

We showed up to the door of our local fire station unannounced (though, I did speak to the Chief about this a few weeks back, and he said to come whenever!) with a box of brownies in our hands.

The firemen were so gracious in not only giving Nathan a tour of all of their 5 vehicles, but also by allowing him to sit in every single one of them. We even left with parting gifts: a plastic junior firefighter hat, and a sticker badge.

What he really wanted to do was drive it.

He’s so small in this dirt engine.

The following week was fireman this and fireman that.

“What is your problem?,” he’d say. What he really meant was, “Do you need help?”

Then, he’d run in with his fire hose aka vacuum attachment to put out the fire or rescue someone or something.

Helping Papa water the plants with his “fire hose”.

Then, he got really creative.

Nathan as Fireman Dinosaur!

This trip was exciting for me as well. It was such an honor to meet these men who serve our city, and protect us from the fires that come rolling through during the Santa Ana Winds season. I actually ran into a few of them while at the market, and they recognized us. They even remembered Justin’s name (Nathan wasn’t with us). I appreciate this sense of community. I hope Nathan and Justin learn to appreciate it as well.

Being able to experience things like this with my child, and see his eyes light up, and his imagination and understanding of the world grow…and knowing that I was a part of it…reminds me that the daily turmoil that is motherhood worth it.

Justin Update: Justin is eating much better, now. I think he just woke up one day, and decided, “Hmmm….I think I’ll eat more today,” because, now, he’s crunching on Ritz’s crackers, nibbling on table scraps like veges, watermelon, and, today, a fried cheese wonton. He’s also chugging down his milk 3-5 oz every 2-3 hours. He even looks like he’s grown taller, too.

We caught him eating a fry!

Nathan Update: Today is the first day he’s been to school with NO tears. Yay, Nathan! We are so proud of him. It took him only 9 days to adjust. And, there are no signs of resentment, either. He’s gotten into the routine of falling asleep on the ride home, wake up 2 hours later, eat, then play with his fire trucks until I am able to force him out of the house for a walk, or his Papa gets home. Much less chaos, nowadays, as we are settling into our new routine. We still haven’t had a chance to visit a fire station, though they’ve told us to come by any time. After Nathan wakes from his naps, he, like I said, has to be “forced” to go any where.

Jennifer and Loi Update: We’re on a new business venture with some new products we’re really excited about. We will update here with pictures as we get the website up and going. I am working on the occasional weekend or few each month coordinating wedding receptions. We also celebrated our 5 year anniversary on September 5th by going out to dinner at Traditions by Pascals, a French restaurant. The braised duck was yum!

Young married couple

We’re almost afraid to settle in so, but, we are at this rare point in our journey where we’re allowed a bit of a routine in our daily lives.

Our usual day consists of Loi dropping Nathan off at school in the morning, then heading off to work. I manage Justin at home, get him up, fed, and dressed (sometimes, I do meds, but, Loi usually does this, too), and whisk him off to OT and PT in Costa Mesa. Our sessions last for about 1.5 hours. At the end of the session, Justin is loaded into the car seat, fed, then driven off to pick up Nathan from pre-school. We head home for Nathan’s nap, as Justin plays one on one with me. When Nathan wakes up 2 hours later, we all eat a mid afternoon meal. Afterwards, it is more play, and some cleaning until Loi gets home from work. Then, we prepare dinner, eat, and start putting the boys to sleep.

 

 Playing with one of his favorite toys during physical therapy.

Working on some weight bearing. Not liking it too much, can you tell. But, he doesn’t complain.

Mondays are therapy free, and I am enrolling Justin in some Mommy and Me classes (possibly with music involvement, sounds fun!) that begin in October. On Friday mornings, I’m taking him to a local kids’ gym for some socializing, and additional exercising. He needs to keep stimulated, too!

I try to keep Saturday mornings Mommy and Nathan day, although it doesn’t always work out that way. He’s a teenager, remember? Sometimes, he just doesn’t want to go out with his old lady; he’d rather play with his trucks. But, we were able to squeeze in a trip to Dave and Busters for some arcade games a few weeks ago. Otherwise, I build Legos with him, or join in on some usual boy stuff like running around for no apparent reason, hiding, jumping, and crawling around on the ground playing with cars and trucks. Then, there’s the occasional baseball throwing and batting in the house. I can’t wait to have our own yard for this. My hope is to have him involved in a “Playball” program to improve his gross and fine motor skills, as well as to develop some socializing skills. But, we’re still adjusting to the school thing, so we’ll see about this. The program starts in October, also.

“Woah, did you see that, Mommy?”

Riding on the motorcycle.

Cupful of tickets he had earned!

Side view of house built of Duplox. Note the little fire truck at the end. He made sure I took a picture of this.

Garage for Lightning McQueen

Sunday is typically our family day.

Medical stuff is still on my mind, and sometimes sneaks into our schedules. Next week, we have an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon to discuss the possibility of Justin needing a leg brace to help strengthen his ankle and calve muscles affected by the stroke. I still research about stuff. Every. day. I ask questions. I look for new contacts.

At the same time, I try to allow myself and my family to enjoy every day we have together because I know things can change on a dime. Thinking into October, to tell you the truth, is still a little too far for me. I still check on Justin…repeatedly…while he’s sleeping. Yes, we’re still at “that place.” We’re taking it day by day (as exhausting and annoying as it can be sometimes), creating as a fulfilling life for our children and ourselves as possible.

Prayer Request

Reality is, the world will keep moving even when we want to stop. Being afraid of the future or remorseful of the past can only get us nowhere. So, I follow the example of those warriors who continue to fight when they feel they have none left to give, but, do because they can…with prayer and hope.

Here are two inspiring examples:

Little Hearts, Big Miracles: Dave, a father who just lost his 4 month old son to CHD is a true inspiration to me, and exemplifies how we must move forward, even in our darkest times, for our children and our loved ones. Please pray him and his wife, as well as for their little angel, Johnny, and their 2-year old daughter, Jules.

MarekTimes: There is another heart family in Canada who is mustering up all their strength for their little 4 month old boy, Marek, also diagnosed with CHD and heterotaxy, as he struggles with a weak heart and cold. His heart stopped for 4 minutes last night! Pray for healing of his weak heart, and for his parents to have the strength to endure all that they must for their family.

I hope everyone will have a blessed and beautiful weekend!

Much has been going on in our household, and I guess I was holding out for some good pictures before reporting, but then that may be never. So, here goes. We start with Nathan’s school adventures.

Nathan started Preschool. The first week was a disaster with him screaming every morning at drop off. He refused to join the other students in the morning circle time where they sang songs, and learned each other’s names. He had to be removed from the classroom because his screaming and crying was so disruptive. However, we had no choice but to leave him like that, because…he has to learn to join the real world, eventually/some time?…

I did not cry for my first born’s tears. But, I second guessed myself, and my decision to put him in school. Now that he’s there, there really isn’t any turning back. I mean, what would we be teaching him if we pulled him out…that screaming and crying will get his way? Argh. So, we stuck it out, crying and beatings in the morning (by him on us, not the other way around) and all.

The second day, he was really pissed. During lunch, he refused to eat, and made his point by throwing his plate across the room. His response to every request made by the teacher was “NO!” I was told by the school administrator that he’ll get the hang of it, we just need to teach him the little things like, “grace and manners.” Uh, was that an insult, because it sure felt like one.

We started feeling alone in the whole process. All the other kids knew how to wave good-bye, get in line, and join circle time…without screaming and yelling. What is wrong with our kid? Us?

Well, nothing…I think.

Turns out, most of the kids in Nathan’s class are older than he is by one year, and started a year earlier, so had had their time to express (cry, yell, scream) their anxieties.

One mom told me that her daughter took a good week and half to adjust. Now, a year later, she still gets teary-eyed when dropped off, but does not scream and wail like Nathan does.

Just a moment earlier, she had seen Nathan being carried from his classroom down the hallway by the assistant teacher. He was screaming “Mama! Mama! Mama!,” reaching out for me over the assistant teacher’s shoulder. All I could do was say, “I’ll pick you up after lunch, Nathan,” before he disappeared around the corner.

I went home, feeling completely guilty, and seriously considered home schooling my kids. In fact, I had spent the entire night before researching on line. Home schooling is A LOT of work on the parent’s part, but is awesome for the kids, I think. They’re allowed to work at their own pace on the subjects that they like, with no set curriculum for any given day…they just have to complete their work for the year. But, I digress…

With the beginning of the new week was a new beginning for Nathan. Although he still cried at drop off during the second week, he stopped after we left, and was willing to observe the other students “working” on their “work”. He’s at a Montessori program…everything looks like play, but they’re really learning (typical child’s life, right?). Now, on his 3rd week, the teacher says he is actually doing some of the work himself.

This week, when I picked him up from school and asked him if he had a good day, he responded with “Yes,” but wouldn’t elaborate. He’s made some friends, and his favorite time is play time in the school playground. Today, he rode in the helicopter. Yesterday, he was on the space ship. His “best friend” Zack tried to run him over with a tricycle.

Nathan, my first born, 3 years old, is definitely growing into his own. I don’t know if “cute” describes him anymore. He’s like a little teenager….

With the chaos that surrounded that first day of school, we failed to take a picture. The two shots we did get were from Loi’s I-phone, through a gridded glass from the hallway, looking into the classroom. He was wearing his best clothes: a Red CARS shirt, jeans, and red Crocs with six CARS ornaments on them. He had just finished his screaming, and was seated next to his teacher, with a little burrowed brow.

Here is a picture of the shirt he wore on his first day of school. I wanted him to wear something familiar to him and to his peers. A conversation starter, maybe? He wore this shirt on the previous Monday, before school started (the good, ol’, calmer days). We had gone to a Build-a-Bear Workshop.

These animals are his creations. The left purple bear was for Grandma, and the right purple bear was for his Great Auntie. Both love purple. The stud in the middle is his. He’s a Laker Lover like his Papa. Before choosing the animal, he knew he wanted to name it PeeWee, after Justin.

All the drama aside, I am having fun with Nathan at this age. Really. I mean, most days are overwhelming with him claiming every toy as “mine,” and dictating to Justin what he can or cannot play with, leaving Justin with eventually nothing to play with…Let’s not forget the tantrums with endless screaming. The kind that leaves Justin bug-eyed, like, what is going on? Then, there are days when I feel like I’ve lost so much control because I never have enough time to give to them, and the guilty conscious beats on my head…

He’s growing, and has an opinion about everything, and a solution for everything (never mind if it’s right). His facial expressions and the tones he uses when he talks are pretty priceless too. I love that he has suggestions about things, now. Like, the other day, he told me he wanted to sit in a real fire truck (his new obsession). So, I set up a meeting at our local fire station. We’re planning to go tomorrow after school. We’ll see how everything goes…

Tune in for more drama!

OLYMPIC SWIMMER

After a good two hours in the community swimming pool, I told my son, “Just five more minutes, OK? Then, we need to go home.”

“O-kaaay,” he replied.

Five minutes passed, and I reminded him we needed to go.

He negotiated: “How about five more minutes. I need to practice.”

“Practice?”

“Yeah. So I can swim fast!, fast!, fast! like the guys in the Olympics!”

DOCTOR

Loi likes the idea of Nathan becoming a doctor if he ever wished to become one. Preferably a cardiologist. So, one night during dinner, in the midst of one of our conversations with Nathan about his well-check visit, Loi asked, “How about you become a doctor, Nathan?”

“Yeah!,” he responded with his eyes lighting up and his body straightening up.

“What does a doctor do, Nathan?,” I asked him.

“Like this,” he said as he pretended he was holding a stethescope and putting it to my heart.

Awww.

DRUMMER

A lone, yellow plastic chopstick on the floor sparked Nathan’s imagination. He ran to the kitchen looking for the other half. Then, he said,

“Mommy, come here.” I followed. “OK, you play like this.”

A slow, bum, bum, bum followed against the goose down pillow that he had thrown in the center of the living room.

I did not follow his rhythm, but played a quicker beat: ba-dah, ba-dah, boom.

“No, like this Mommy.” He grabbed the chopsticks back and repeated his rhythm.

“Very nice, Nathan.”

“Yeah, I think you should buy me a drum set for my birthday.”

“A drum set?!?!?,” I thought, with visions of chaotic noise overtaking our house. Not a good idea. Where did he get this idea from? How did he even know what a drum set was?

What else was I to do but to be supportive. I didn’t want to knock down his opportunities before he even gave it a chance. So, I responded with,

“You already got a present for your birthday. How about we go to the music store and you can play on the drums there.”

“Oh, yeah! That’s a good idea.”

Phew!