Home of the Four Trans

Yes. Everyone.

Even at the Korean restaurant, to the lady who asked us what we’d like to eat, at which he responded, “I’m four,” and splayed all four fingers on his right for her to see.

“Ohhh!,” she replied enthusiastically. “Today is your birthday?”

He nodded his head with sharp certainty.

As if that were not enough, he repeated again, while scooping bits of free frozen yogurt into his mouth, to the lady at the cashier who was tending our change, “I’m four.”

I could tell, by that time, my son felt quite special being four. As an mother adult,  I could not understand the significance of turning four. I mean, four is a pretty big number, and it is another year closer to turning into a kindergardener, and him going off to college, and leaving his Mama…But, it’s not exactly five, you know?

It was not until I saw my little boy climb onto his first big boy bike for the first time when I realized how much my little boy has grown into his own. And, boy, how age four suddenly became so special to this mom. A year ago, when we had contemplated getting Nathan a bike, he was noticeably uncoordinated and too short for any of them. This year, when I watched him climb onto the bike with such ease, and pedal away without any assistance, it was like seeing my boy grow right in front of my eyes. In fact, his preference is to go fast! As far as reasoning with him about hurting himself if he drives too fast? Forget about it. His plan is that as long as he has his helmet and pads on, he’ll be fine. And, so it begins…

This year is also the first year Nathan understands the concept of birthdays, meaning birthday equals presents and special treatment. He requested to go to Disneyland, but not really for Disneyland. He had noticed that both my sister and mom received birthday pins for their birthdays, so he wanted one, too. Afterwards, he wanted to shop for his gift. Then, by 10pm, when it was time to head home, he wanted a treat. He chose a box of jumbo sized, chocolate dipped Mickey ears pretzels that ran along the lines of $16. I said no. He replied in his know-it-all tone with, “It is my birthday.” My sister and I looked at each other with our eyebrows raised and smiled with our mouths open–in disbelief. Luckily for us, Nathan also acted like his grown boy’s age, and agreed to put it back in exchange for a the small Mickey ears pretzels. Four years will give a boy that sense of maturity…ha!

It’s like I knew it was coming, but it came so fast I didn’t know what hit me, until it did. My baby boy grew up. He’s four.

Here’s my advice from one mother to another: cherish your time with your children because they sure grow up fast. I should know. Did I mention I have a four year old, now?

I love you, Baby! Yes, you’ll always be my baby…Love, Mama.

Hi, Family and Friends!

Thanks for checking in. I’ve been neglecting the blog for several reasons, but mainly because I wanted to devote my time to my children and savor every bit of the summer with them while they’re in great health. So, excuse me for the lack of updates.

I’d given Justin a break from medical stuff (i.e.; doctor appointments and tests) for the month so that he could enjoy the things little boys are made of. I enrolled him in a Mommy and Me music class and gym. He especially loves the social aspect of the classes, but also enjoys the core lessons of each of his classes as well. In music class, he loves to sing, dance, learn new hand motions to new songs, create sounds with different instruments, and exercise his tonal understanding. In gym class, he enjoys me rolling him into somersaults, climbing up padded stairs, popping bubbles, whacking balls, and scooting around on his bum.

For those who are wondering, Justin still cannot walk, or crawl for that matter. He spends most of his time scooting on his bum, and has gotten quite efficient at it. However, he has learned to pull up to standing with his one unaffected arm, and cruise around chairs and tables.  He is noticeably eager and willing to walk independently, but that darn right leg is not cooperating. He still shows weakness in his right ankle and foot, thus the lack of stability and support to walk independently. He is able to take steps with my assistance, and tends to take advantage of my help by running as far as he can. Because he is not bearing weight into his right leg, he is not taking quailty steps, and appears to be flying most the time. His physical therapist is recommending a brace, although his orthopeadist (the one who writes the prescription for the brace) does not. I, his mother, see benefit in putting him in a brace even if he may be dependent on it for life because it will allow him independence and opportunity to grow cognitively.

Despite his inability to walk or use two hands/arms equally, he continues to grow cognitively and emotionally. He’s been verbalizing more in addition to using some of his sign language, pointing, grunting, facial expressions, and babbling to communicate. Lately, he’s been doing a pterodactyl type screech to either get attention or when he doesn’t get his way; we have implemented the “time out corner” technique to minimize this. He is quite mischevious these days, and getting quite good at manipulating to get his way. For example, when I put him in the corner this evening for whacking and eye-poking his Papa, he immediately climbed onto me to hug me and rested his head on my shoulder, then chuckled, like he knew he was going to get away with it. When I pulled him away to explain to him why he needed to be in the naughty corner, he immediately crossed his arms and bowed his head, and said “Ah” (a customary way for children to greet their elders in our culture). He knows that when Nathan gets the corner, before he is allowed to move from it, he is required to cross his arms and say sorry for whatever it was that he did wrong; essentially, he was trying to skip all the steps and get to the end.

Upset because he did not want to take a picture!

Sucking on the lollipop that pacified his tantrum. Bad Mom, I know.

Justin has gotten more attached to me, now.  He prefers Mama for everything from putting him to sleep to feeding him his bottle or holding his cup; He’ll cry and scream if Loi tries to help. He is quite independent with feeding himself with a fork or spoon, as well as bringing a cup to his mouth, but since he sees me feed Nathan, he screeches for me to feed him, also. He’s gotten quite competitive with his brother, not allowing his brother any time with Mama.

Justin is a troublemaker. He hits his brother, gets into pantry doors, swipes his brother’s toys, climbs over his Papa and talk during reading time, hang over the arm of the couch only after I tell him ‘no’, and was caught red handed playing with the toilet water (you heard that right. Toilet. Water). This is all new to us because Nathan did none of these things. The worst part is Justin has such a sweet face that he literally can get away with anything. He only needs to bat his long lashes, and flash his sweet smile, and I’d melt. But, so would not be fair to either of them.

Most importantly, Justin is an incredibly happy and friendly little boy. He wants to make friends and be friends with everyone. When we go out, it’s hard to get him to stop staring and smiling at people. He has a technique of getting people’s attention by staring at them, waving, and smiling, even if they’re not looking at him. Of course, eventually they do. During one of our restaurant outings, he reached his hand out from his high chair to touch the people walking by. There were a few times I could not stop him in time.

Justin is just a really sweet kid. When I sneeze (which is quite often when my allergies act up), he says “bleh u”. When it is time to say good-bye, to anyone, he waves and says, “bah, bah,” then does the sign for thank you while saying “thay u”, then blows a kiss. When he has food in his hands or on his table, he insists on sharing by pushing food into my face to eat, or taking crackers out by twos so that he can give one away. It’s hard for me to keep from kissing and hugging him all day long.

A few of his favorite things: Baby Einstein, books, dancing, cars, and music.

He weighs about 21-22 pounds at 24 months, and measures about 31.5 inches long.

Thanks, again, for checking in on us!

There was a time (like, 6 months, ag0) when I wondered if Justin was even there, cognitively, that is.

Lately, he’s been blowing my mind away with his comprehension skills, as if to say, “Mommy, why did you ever doubt me?”

During his physical therapy session, his therapist was playing a game with him while encouraging him to bear weight through his legs, and walk. His PT asked him to find the matching animals, and bring them together. Of the four attempts, he got three right! Lion, elephant, and crocodile. I was sooo excited!

He’s learned to access the main power strip for the entertainment/TV area, and turned it off (because he’s a rebel like that). Later, Nathan wanted to turn on a DVD, but could not figure out how to because all the power was off. I told Justin, who was (dis)organizing our stash of DVDS at the time from across the room to turn on the TV for his brother. Justin slowly lowered himself down to sitting position, scooted over to the entertainment area, and pointed threw the sliver of space the power strip was hidden.

Nathan asked, “In there?”

Justin responded with a smart nod and, “Yeah.”

I was, again, blown away!

He’s been studying a poster board full of his pictures that Loi created for him for his birthday. Today, I asked him to show it to his uncle, whom we call “Boy”. As a test and brain exercise (because I’m sneaky like that), I asked him to point out pictures based on my descriptions. I’d asked questions like, “Where is the picture with Justin and Papa?”, “Where is the picture with Mama? Papa? Brother?”. Then, it got harder: “Where is the picture…

…with Justin swinging?

…with Justin wearing shoes?

…with Justin wearing sunglasses?

…with Happy Birthday (with a birthday cake)?

…with Justin wearing a hat?

…with Justin and the choo-choo train?

He got most of the questions correct. But, what amazed me even more so was the fact that he knew how to call my brother, “Buh!”

After answering a difficult question correctly, he urgently tapped my brother on the shoulder and said, “Buh!, Buh!, Buh!,” to get his attention to show off what he’s learned.

Wow, blown away!

Ok, just one more, and it’s a good one.

The two little boys were playing on the ground. Nathan was trying to finish a peg puzzle (that Justin had gotten for his birthday), and couldn’t find the last piece. I said to Justin, “Justin can you give  Cuh-Cuh (big brother) the fire truck, please?” The piece was somewhere behind Justin, and I didn’t really expect him to a) know which fire engine I was talking about, and b) have the attention span to look for it. But, he knew exactly what I was talking about, and exactly where it was, and brought it straight to his brother!

BLOWN AWAY!

Okay, so he’s 6 months behind, cognitively. But, he was also too tired to even function his first six months of life. The important thing is he’s motivated and bright…and, I’m so proud of him!

We had a speech consultation with a language and speech pathologist this week, and she is recommending him for speech therapy! Yay! Our local regional center needed her recommendation before agreeing to write up a contract for the services for Justin. And, I must say, Justin is a very smart little boy.

August is the month of excessiveness, for my boys, that is.

Depending on who you ask, I can be a pretty simple person. Take a look in my closet, and you’ll see, it’s full of basics–black, white, blue, and grey stretchy tees, tanks, and skinny denim jeans. Look at my face and you’ll see–bare or faded makeup. Have I always been this way? No. Those who knew me pre-mommyhood will testify: I loved my clothes and makeup. Especially the dressy, sexy kind, and always with blush. Yes, I was that kind of girly girl. **Sigh** Anyway, I digress. The point is, I am a simple person. I am.

Ask me what I want in life, and I’ll say–my family. Ask me where I want to live–with my family. Ask me why I wake up every single morning–for my family. Get the picture?

So, if I’m as simple of a person as I say I am, why do I always teeter towards excess every single birthday party? I mean, I know, I spend way too much. It’s almost embarrassing, really, but I can’t help myself. My boys’ birthdays are the days that they were bore into this world, and became the sons of me; before them, I was just, um, me. Every year, I attempt to bargain hunt,  cut down more and more of the amount of money I spend. I realize how many of those less fortunate than us are out there in this world, and I’d prefer to donate our money, than spend so excessively on frivolous things as parties. Still, my children’s lives are reasons to celebrate.

Here are a few of my creative ideas on planning the LEGOS themed party this year:

1. Because their birthdays are only 5 days apart, I’ve decided to do a combined party. To be fair, I have/am celebrating each of their birthdays on their actual birthdays with cake, song, decoration, and gift. Nathan is in school, so I will be providing a snack and goodie bags for his classmates, also, on his day.

2. I’ve decided to make their big birthday cake this year. My estimated cost is about $30-$50 for a cake that serves about 50-80. Not bad, right?  This is the inspiration for the cake I’m planning to make. Wish me luck. I am not artistic, and I am a novice baker. Wish my guests luck, too, because they’ll be eating it

Courtesy of KrazyKakeBakers.

3. My invitations were kept low-key. For Nathan’s classmates, I created the invites on Photoshop, personalized it, and printed it on photo paper for enhanced quality. I ended emailing a lot of people because I waited so last minute to invite our guests (oops, sorry!).

4. I took a designated trip to Target. Because the boys’ birthdays fall around Back-to-School shopping season, I knew I’d be able to find great deals on school supplies such as crayons. Each box of 24 crayons was only .20. That is, twenty cents. Um hmm…awesome deal. I will be giving these away as party favors. Also, toward the end of summer, many of the toys go on sale. Last year, my sister in law found explorer backpacks for only $5 each, with compass, binoculars, whistle, the whole works; this worked well with our Safari theme.

5. Because Nathan had requested for a LEGOS theme, I scoured the internet for ideas for entertainment, games, party favors, and decorations. I collected many of my favorites, and set out to purchase the most economical items I could find to fulfill just some of those ideas. This year, because my party planning began too late into the game, I did not have the option of eBay shopping. So, I went to our LEGOS Store, and found some great deals (i.e.; mini RACERS set for only $3.50; tub of duplos for only $30; Nathan’s race car cake topper that will also double as his present for $8.50) Also, because I am a Legoland passport holder, I received an additional 10% off  my entire purchase. The icing on the cake was this: for every $75 I spent, I received a FREE annual passport to be redeemed by November of 2009; this is for me to give away if I so desire!

6. The party favors will also double as their activity/games tools. I am printing out coloring sheets from the LEGOS website for the children to color with their new crayons. I am holding a mini RACERS building contest (ideally, if the little ones cooperate), then with those RACERS, we will have a race!

7. In the works: making my own pinata. Although, I question whether this is worth it since I don’t know what to stuff it with (not candy).

8. Scattered legos and duplos for kids to free play.

9. Bounce house (not a part of the theme, but always fun)

10. Balloon artist (again, not part of the theme, but fun!)

This is all I’ve got that makes sense so far. I will update after the party.

Here are a few pictures from last year’s SAFARI themed party:

The guests were greeted by the door witha giant lion head made by my sister and friend. We had each guest take a picture with their face peeking through the lion head cut out. We immediately printed these pictures, inserted them into homemade “passports”, and gave it to our guests.

Each child guest was presented with”gear” for their safari. Backpacks were found at Target for $5 each.

We provided a “map” of the activities available to them during the party. We set this “map” at the beginning so everyone could get an idea of what was in the party area.

Pawprints made of ivory paper that I printed for free at our complex’s business center led the way from the entrance to party area.

The “lion’s den” made of cardboard boxes found in the back of furniture stores were a big hit. The inside was decorated with glow in the dark stars and lights. Animal sounds added ambience. Kids loooved it.

Crafty foam animals kept the kids busy as they waited for all the guests to arrive (found at Michaels Craft Store).

The baker did a wonderful job on the cake based on my sister-in-law’s description, and ideas. It flowed with our theme seamlessly.

My most talented neice designed this banner with a trusty printer and cardstock paper.

Our little family on a joyous occasion.

As you can see, there were many details that went into Justin’s 1st birthday party. That first year had a rough beginning, and by the one year mark came around, we had so much to be thankful for. We wanted to invite the world and thank them for supporting us, and at the same time, ensure that they had a great time. I made it a point to have as many personal touches as possible, thus enlisting the help of family. It turned out to be a magical day, with slideshow and all :). This year, of course, will be much more low key.

P.S.–For those who do not know, I belonged to the wedding industry for 9 years before I took on my role as Stay-at-Home Mom full force. My ties to it and its people are still close, thus the access to a large banquet style facility.

Two years ago, Justin made his grand entrance into the world with a giant wail. I’ll never forget the way he immediately became calm when he saw and heard his Mommy for the first time. He was screaming with his nauseated newborn voice while getting measured, weighed, blessed, etc. But, the moment he sensed his Mommy’s body and voice, his wailing stopped. He comfortably settled into my arms, quiet and content. By that time, everyone but my sister, mom, mother-in-law, and Loi were allowed in the room. Everyone else was outside, and was questioning why Justin had suddenly stopped crying. It was because of me.

A few minutes later, we were separated for six hours (the number of hours it took for the stupid epideral to wear off. The epideral that was administered when my baby was already down, and ready to go. The epideral I was pushed to get. Ugh.) before seeing each other again. I remember watching the clock wondering how my baby was doing. I remember my sister bringing me a picture she had taken of Justin as he was pushed down the corridor to  NICU at the Children’s Hospital next door, with his eyes wide open, curious of the world around him. I remember the sadness I felt, even days later, for not yet having seen my child’s eyes opened. The next time I saw my newborn baby, he was surrounded by a respiratory therapist and nurses because he was under respiratory distress as a side effect of the medication that was given to him. At that time, the first time I had to spend with my new baby, he was intubated and connected to tubes, wires, and machines; his eyes were still closed. I remember the tears I shed for the pain my child suffered. I remember singing to him, “You are my sunshine.” I pecked him on the forehead. I rubbed his tiny fingers between mine. All the while, he continued to sleep, comforted by his mother’s warmth, I’m sure.

A few hours after our time together, he was prepared for transfer to Children’s Hospital in LA where his surgery would take place. I remember how he cried in his sleep while the transfer team prepared him for the helicopter ride. He squeezed my finger with his whole golf ball of a hand.

I remained at home in Orange County resting, healing, and pumping while Loi bonded with Justin.

I came up four days later, the day before his first open heart surgery. I held my baby, with his eyes still closed…and, didn’t want to let go. But, I had to. As I looked through the images of the pain my child suffered following his arrival into the world (pictures that are difficult for me to see, and I’m sure will be even more so for you), a feeling of heaviness fell upon me, as it did back then; no child should have such a cruel and cold reception into the world; no child should be away from his mother’s cradling arms for so long.

I did not see his eyes until days after his heart surgery.

Now, two years later, he’s by my side, like a joey to a kangaroo, and I take not one moment for granted. His wails have been replaced by urgent calls of  “Mama! Mama! Mama!” And, those eyes, the ones I had achingly longed to see?  I knew there was something special about them. His neurologist once said, “The eyes are the window to the soul,” and somehow, Justin’s spoke to her. An aunt once commented on how his eyes look straight to your heart. When we go out, he draws people to him with his bright eyes while batting his lashes. Yes, they are special, almost as special as the person who sees with it.

So, how do we celebrate such a life that has touched us so deeply? How do I create a day to express to him how very special he is to us. Because of our (my) fear of what the future holds, I tend to cram the days of our lives with mini celebrations by way of outings and adventures. I pack the days with wrapping my arms around him and kissing him and telling him how special and cute and wonderful and amazing and lovable he is. I cook for him. I let him be, explore, smile, dance, laugh, watch tv, eat ice cream, scoot around with just a diaper and shirt on–because to live life is to celebrate it, right?

Well, on his birthday, I gave to him the only way I knew how–through the labor of my love. I spent 4 hours total on his double layer, 9″, marshmallow fondant chocolate cake (it was my first time ever baking something so fancy hence the hours of labor). I beat, mixed, kneaded, rolled, cut. I spent another hour printing, cutting, gluing, and stringing his personalized birthday sign together. I filled balloons with helium. Whether or not he understood the significance of his day, I wanted him to see the festivities that surround it. Loi helped make his birthday hat, wrapped his present, and most importantly kept the kids away on a special trip to McDonalds for breakfast (so they could play on the playground, also), and a couple of trips around the block so that I could create the “surprise” for Justin. Nathan helped decorate the birthday table with his cars, and was so proud of accomplishing his “mission”.

Although he did not say it, I know Justin understood everything was for him. He was so happy to see his “pat, pat” ( his words for “Little Einstein”) cake, and squealed in delight. While we sang “Happy Birthday” to him, he clapped. At the end of the song, he knew he needed to blow out his candle, and he was successful (after several attempts)!

Opening his one and only present was a hit.

We spent the day at Jumpin’ and Jammin’, an indoor playground facility. Justin spent most of his time in the toddler area, scooting around, watching other kids, and trying to interact with them. He also spent some time with Nathan collecting balls and loading up the shooters.

Loi and I just wanted to spend time with him as a family, with all of us together. As simple as that sounds, being together is a treasure we cherish deeply because our past experiences have proven that we may not always have this luxury.

We ended the day with a birthday bath, and of Justin trying to show us how old he is, now!

I hope my little one knows how much he means to us. Happy Birthday, My Love!

P.S.

Justin was torturing his brother for some of the day, hitting him with cars, and taking apart his LEGOS. I had to put him in a corner at one point. It was his day, but I had to do it. Learning the concept of discipline is a part of living life, yeah?

Thanks for checking in on our little man and allowing him into your lives.