Home of the Four Trans

With Justin, a cold is never just a cold.

I noticed a dry cough on Tuesday night, that turned into a runny, congested nose, that turned into irritability and whininess, that turned into a low grade fever, that turned into a sleepless night of inconsolable crying.

On Thursday, I took him into the pediatrician’s office. As I pulled out of our garage, I thought to myself, “Shoot, I packed only one bottle of milk.” Although the “plan” was a one to two hour doctor’s visit, I’ve come to expect the unexpected. It’s been awhile since Justin gave us a run for it, so I’m a little rusty.

On the ride there, I planned our escape route–just in case. That is, I thought of which hospital I’d take him to if there was a dire need to admit him to the emergency room (if I had a choice), whether I’d head home first to pack or head out with Justin, and who would take care of Nathan in the event that both Loi and I had to be gone.

By the time I was in the pediatrician’s examining room, I thought I had everything planned out for, except I didn’t. Justin’s low grade fever, grogginess, runny/stuffy nose, and vomitting alarmed the pediatrician because RSV was going around. There was a possiblity that Justin was showing symptoms of this dreaded respiratory infection although he had already received the Synagis shot a week before. Ugh.

His lack of a spleen (asplenia) made things even more complicated. These symptoms could also be early signs of a septic bacterial infection, which means that the bacteria may have gotten into his blood stream. Without a spleen, his immune system is not equipped to fight this off.

To err on the worst case scenario, his pediatrician opted to give Justin one of those huge, yucky, very potent antibiotic shots…after I had already promised Justin that this doctor’s visit would not entail any shots, just looking and listening.

I hate it when I lie to him. Even when I try not to.

This is why I’m afraid to get too comfortable with Justin being “healthy”. Note to self: keep my emotional armor on at all times. It gets really hard to see my child in pain. The crying began before the stabbing…because he knew. I had to remind him that he will hurt for only a little bit, then the pain would go away. But, I think I’ve stopped believing in that because the pain runs deep. Otherwise, why does he tear up at the mere sight of the pediatrician?

I knew (I think), this is for his own good. Better to be safe than sorry. But, medicine is harsh on the body. Was I doing the right thing?

I hesitated on pulling down Justin’s pant as the pediatrician towered over us with the tray of medicine ready for injection. The louder of the two voices in my head prevailed.

“Just do it,” it taunted me. “Don’t ask questions.”

I took this to be my instinctual voice, and pulled down Justin’s pant.

Stab one. The wailing came out loud and strong, then stretched into silence before…

Stab two.

I gave him a big hug, told him what a strong, big boy he was, and walked around to calm him down to no avail. I grabbed the infant car seat, and headed for the door, but not before plucking a sugar free lollipop from the small pail on the front desk.

“Look Justin, do you want a lollipop?”

Waaahhahhaaa.

I dropped his blanket from the car set and felt like a mess. My freakin’ baby was crying from pain–physically or psychologically, it didn’t matter.

I wasn’t able to console him, but was able to get him in the carseat for a short ride across the street to the hospital for some blood work. This was to rule out the prospect of him having an infection or sepsis. Yes, more needles.

He’s not quite familiar with the hospital, so by the time I got him out the car door, he was happy to be anywhere but near the pediatrician’s office’s parking lot.

As we sat in the waiting room, he got some ooo’s and ahhh’s, and some well minding (but germy) people giving him attention. Pretty typical. Hello? Have you seen his face? hehe.

We had a wonderful phlebotomist who also works at Children’s Hospital of Orange County. She hit jackpot (his vein) after only one poke! I love that. Justin has gotten so strong, I had to use force to hold him down. I hate that.

It took a couple of days, but the culture came back negative. No gram negative bacteria growth. And, his CBC looked fine.

Through this entire ordeal, he’s lost about 2 pounds after we had worked so hard for him to gain those. Although his demeanor has improved, he still is not up to his old self. He still vomits and has some watery stools. This worries me because he’s at risk for 1) dehydration and 2) getting the fluids into his lungs.

I’m wondering if the watery stools are a result of the antibiotic shot? I will have to make a call to his pediatrician tomorrow.

His weight loss is also a disappointment because he has a 6 month check up with his cardiologist this Tuesday. I kinda wanted to show off how much Justin has grown. Sigh.

Please pray for Justin’s recovery from this viral infection (cold), and that his cardiology check up will show favorable (improved) heart conditions.

Thanks for checking in, and for your prayers.