Pray, please, pray
We’ve come to a time in Justin’s journey where all we can do is pray–pray and have faith that all he must endure is for great purpose.
We pray with great hope that our prayers will be answered.
Justin had a rough morning yesterday. Throughout the day, the anxiety level was high, with us not knowing which turn Justin’s heart was going to take. Doctors deemed him critically stable. But, those of you who have followed our blog know that Justin and his journey can be so unpredictable. He really is full of surprises.
Loi is much stronger than I am. He can tolerate the constant beeping and alarming of the machines whenever one of his vital signs dip or rise. I, on the other hand, find my breath caught in my throat, with difficulty to breathe. Sometimes I watch. Most times, if a nurse does not answer quickly enough, I look for one. I pace…a lot. Sitting still is almost not an option. I must do something, anything for my baby. So, I stand by his side, talk to him, pray for him.
Today, I told Loi I didn’t know if I could handle it…the hospital, the anxiety of not knowing the unknown. I had to leave.
Faith brought me to my church, looking for some comfort for myself and my family, but especially for Justin. After praying to Joseph, Mary, and Jesus for our strength, I wandered. I needed guidance. A stranger took me under her arm as she saw tears streaming down my eyes when she asked me if everything was OK. She said, “You don’t know me, but let me help you.” She let me talk as she listened. I’ve been told to be strong…and, I try, so desperately. Tears are the last resort, when my body can no longer handle the immense emotional buildup. My baby’s life ended twice, yet, I did not shed a tear. I reclude to a corner of some empty room and release. I am told to be strong. And, I try. But, sometimes, it is too much.
I asked the parish father to visit us and Justin at CHOC for some guidance and prayers. This evening, he arrived with a relic of St. Cabrini’s habit. He told us to pray for every miracle. St. Cabrini is known for healing children and parents who are unable to conceive. He prayed for Justin’s strength and recovery, and for all the angels and St. Dominic to watch over him.
We pray–Loi silently, while I speak to Justin, the saints, the Lord.
CHLA is scheduled to arrive for Justin at 5AM this Monday morning. His surgery is scheduled for 10AM.
I beg all of you to please pray for our little Justin. He deserves everything because he has given us everything.
Thank you again for all your support, love, and prayers.
God bless.
January 14th, 2008 at 8:45 am
See, I know why everyone extends sympathy to the parents. Our children suffer and we all wish, demand, beg and pray that this isn’t the case, but it happens. But we suffer too… it is awful to try and hold in all the fear and pain we feel because we love our little ones so much and want to do something for them that we cannot. I am glad that someone was in the church with you and of course our thoughts and prayers are with Justin today.
I am still really confused about what has been going on. I guess the doctors are too. Last week you reported that the cath was reassuring and you were going home in the morning and now Justin is critically stable going into surgery? I mean, what a rollercoaster. I hope that Justin is much more predictable today and that the surgery is boring in comparison with all he has been through over the past few days.
Hoping for a stable post-op recovery and SUCCESS, RELIEF and PEACE for the family.
January 14th, 2008 at 8:46 am
We’ve been praying… and asking the other people we know who pray to do the same. You all are in God’s merciful hands, and he won’t let go. I pray you find the renewed strength to face whatever each new day brings with faith and hope.
January 14th, 2008 at 9:48 am
My thoughts and prayers are with you all today.
January 14th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Jennifer and Loi,
I send you and your family all my love and pray for Justins healing and recovery.
Thinking of you,
Tammy
January 14th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Jennifer and Loi, I will be thinking of all of you this morning. There’s nothing closer to God than a child, so have faith and support each other. You have all of our best wishes and our prayers coming your way.
The Gyurina family
January 14th, 2008 at 10:23 am
All of my love, thoughts and prayers are being sent to all of you - especially baby Justin - today and in the crucial days and weeks to come.
You’re all in my heart!
Amy Y.
January 14th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Jennifer and Loi
I came to your blog by way of Wren’s. My daughter, who will be 4 in May, has many heart defects and had her Fontan surgery at UCSF in May of 2007. I read through some of your entries and your writing is just heartbreaking but so powerful. Many of the thoughts you have shared in previous entries are so similar to the many thoughts I had leading up to her surgery and even now. It is a wild roller coaster ride.
Please know that there is a heart mom in northern California who knows what you are going through and will be sending positive thoughts your way.
Dina
mom to Jillian, TGA, DORV, ASD, VSD, IAA, single ventricle
www.jilliansommers.blogspot.com
January 14th, 2008 at 11:26 am
Loi, Jennifer and family,
My thoughts, prayers, love and support are with all of you during this time. Justin is an amazing little baby. Healing, healthy prayers are with Justin.
Thinking of you,
Cathy
January 14th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
GOD’S LOVE IS ALWAYS WITH YOUR FAMILY. HIS LOVE HAVE THE STRENGTH AND THE POWER TO HEAL. OUR THOUGHTS, PRAYERS, LOVE ARE WITH ALL OF YOU DURING THIS TIME, SPECIALLY FOR BABY JUSTIN.
TAKE CARE AND REMEMBER YOU ARE LOVED.
CO HA, CHU TOAN, KATIE AND TJ
January 14th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Your writing is very powerful. I have been thinking of your family since a mutual heart friend posted your Blog. I cannot believe what you have gone through. I have a 22 year old daughter with complicated heart defects and have been down this road a time or two. I will be thinking of you while Justin grows stronger.
January 14th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Jennifer & Loi,
I have been reading your blog for quite a while now. You are an inspiration. The Lord is with your beautiful baby Justin and will give him the strength to get through this crucial time. In Jesus’ name I pray for you and your family, that He may bring you peace.
“The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. ” -Psalm 18:2
Angel
January 15th, 2008 at 7:46 am
I found your blog through Jillian’s blog and wanted to tell you that we will most definitely add Justin to our prayer list. We have a baby with a CHD and have been through one surgery so far so I can relate to some of the anxiety you are feeling. Take deep breaths and know that God is leading the way!
Megan, Dan & Elijah